Greenstein: In my faith tradition, sex and love are not taboo

By Rabbi Micah Greenstein | Special to The Daily Memphian

There are certain things I can write about in this monthly column I would not preach from the pulpit with children in the audience, including this famous rabbinic joke.

The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles.

Being strapped for cash, they bought the cow from Minsk.

The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the people were amazed and very happy.

They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. Then, they would never have to worry about the milk supply again.

They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter which approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he could not succeed in his quest.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening; “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches her from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.”

The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this cow from Minsk?”

The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. “You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?”

The rabbi answered sadly, “My wife is from Minsk.”

In my faith tradition, love and sex are not taboo subjects. The fact of the matter is that Jews are rooted in a tradition that deals explicitly and frankly with the most intimate sexual relations. 

Judaism teaches that sexuality is a necessary and healthy component of human life. Sex is neither sinful nor shameful in Judaism.

To be sure, at times, a certain prudishness prevailed in Jewish communities, but for the most part, we are heirs to a very open and honest approach to sexual morality.

Jewish students of the Talmud knew about puberty, conception, birth control and breastfeeding by the time they were 11 or 12 years of age. The subject of sex was not obscene. It was considered sacred.

The Talmud taught and students learned that sex between husband and wife was forbidden while either was intoxicated, sluggish or in grief.

It was forbidden for a husband to overpower his wife or even to impose upon her if she were sleeping. Sexual activity was encouraged only with the free will and consent of both partners.

In Jewish terms, sex was considered to be part of a loving relationship in which both people found and shared mutual satisfaction. Love was never the result of sex. Sex was merely one facet and component of a mature love relationship.

Contrast those teachings, if you will, with the prevailing sexual hysteria of modern America. We are witnesses to the transformation of sex into a form of athletics. Sex is one of the major motivations of the advertising industry. 

Sadly, almost every form of communication in the media carries erotic overtones or innuendoes, even for children. Political and religious leaders who say one thing and do another certainly don’t help. 

One of God’s greatest gifts to humanity is the gift of moral judgment, the ability to exercise the human mind and control its lascivious instincts.

The divine gift of making responsible choices based on sound judgment differentiates humans from all other forms of life, and nowhere is this more evident than in the realm of sexuality. 

If you’ve ever observed animals, they have sex whenever they want, wherever they want and with whomever they want.

There’s a reason we have our pets spayed or neutered — we know they will get out at some point, and it only takes a few minutes on the loose to start a litter.

Even animals that “mate for life” are by no means sexually exclusive because they have paired up. 

Is it any accident that the symbol for Playboy magazine is a bunny? Is it a mere coincidence that Penthouse magazine’s main feature is its “Pet of the Month?”

These titles symbolize the animal-like sexuality we share with lower creatures, devoid of the higher spiritual aspects of love which only humans can learn to appreciate and know.

Humans are the only creatures endowed with the capacity to discern when, where, and with whom to engage in sexual activity. 

Yet, we don’t always use this capacity well. Just as a knife can be used to stab and kill, or to save a life as a scalpel, so too can sex be a facet of love, a reckless impulse, or even an act of violence called rape. 

In the Bible and throughout history, men seem especially unable to restrain their impulses and urges.

In the latter chapters in the book of Numbers, for instance, a sexual orgy breaks out.

The discipline that had marked 40 years of wandering with Moses in the wilderness falls apart at the borders of the Holy Land.

The Israelite men lose control of their sexual drive, bringing tragedy to the people.

This inability to control one’s sexual drive is perhaps the oldest and newest of human weaknesses, affecting people from King David in biblical times to countless leaders in high places in our time. 

The purpose of Judaism, and all sacred faith traditions, is not to teach people to repress their appetites as evil but to train people to control their appetites because they are God-given. That is what the quest for holiness is all about. 

And that is why we can laugh at the cow from Minsk and relate to her, whether married or not!